Sharing Love

Yu Tin Ching (Ching) has resided in Po Leung Kuk’s dormitory (also known as “the House”) since 2 years-old. The shy little boy would only sit quietly aside in the beginning, even the in-house staff could hardly notice him. Fortunately, he got his chance to shine on stage. Whenever Ching danced, the invisible boy stole the limelight and became the “dancing king” among the children in the House.     Ching loves dancing since he was small. He originally taught himself by watching online dance tutorials. However, it is difficult to master the basic skills or make further progress through self-study. Luckily, Ching met with another dancing enthusiast, Ms. Cheung, in Primary 4. Ms. Cheung discovered the talents of Ching, she initiated him into dance trainings and practices, as well as arranged him to participate in various stage performances of the Kuk, such as the Child Sponsors’ Day, so as to build up his self-confidence gradually.     Ching dreams of becoming a professional dancer. He hopes to learn more dancing techniques from dance schools, but stepping out from the comfort zone of the House and the expensive tuition fee made him feel confused about his future. “Do you really want to be a Dancer?” Ms. Cheung reassured Ching and let him finally made up his mind.    Later with the help of Ms. Cheung and social workers, Ching received financial assistance from “Angels for Orphans” programme of Po Leung Kuk, and started learning jazz dance and street dance at professional dance schools. At the last Child’s Sponsor Day of this 18-year-old boy, Ching decided to express his gratitude to the Sponsors by delivering his best dancing performance before leaving the House.    After DSE, Ching targets to enter The Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts to further develop in dance studies and achieve his dream as a dancer, “I wish that one day, I can come back to the House as dance tutor, and contribute to the Child Sponsor’s Day.” 

母親背起孩子，所擔起的除了孩子重量，更有別人目光、家人想法、長輩意見、同儕壓力、自我質疑、對孩子期望，那重量有時令媽媽也忘記了自己。   特殊孩子媽媽情況更甚。   五歲的梓謙有自閉傾向，梓謙媽媽在照顧孩子時像變了另一個人。 「我會乜都鬧左先，好想佢快d跟上進度，好想佢快d肯聽從指令。」 怒氣背後，是壓力，是無助，是擔心。 「好想兒子由主流教育轉到特殊幼兒中心，呢個係對佢最好安排，長輩卻反對。喺公眾地方，因為兒子唔聽話，外人常時報以奇怪目光，最難聽係聽到人講『你個仔係咪傻架？』令我自信心好低落。」   自閉症孩子不善表達情感，因此社交能力亦較弱。在管教上，父母很想改善，卻有時適得其反，變成了壓力的源頭，關係的破口。   一年多前，梓謙開始在保良局曹金霖幼兒學習中心受訓，梓謙媽媽亦在社工及臨床心理學家的幫助下，了解如何管教特殊孩子。   中心強調建立孩子自信，鼓勵梓謙做小班長；治療師亦作出針對性介入，以梓謙喜歡的英文作切入點，開始訓練。起初梓謙在上堂時仍有打人的行為，一年多後，行為及自我管理能力亦大大改進。   至於梓謙媽媽，亦在過程中重新認識自己，掌握母子關係的真諦。   「我唔可以將別人標準掛喺自己兒子身上，以前嘅我，一心想兒子進步，卻無理會自己都應該要進步，過份要求孩子其實係無用嘅。社工同埋臨床心理學家令我了解到，我疏忽左自己做家長嘅應有態度。我好想多謝盧經理、社工馬姑娘、臨床心理學家吳生，喺我最困難嘅時候陪住我成長！」   曹金霖幼兒學習中心盧頴經理表示：「我好欣賞梓謙媽媽好努力去學習，亦都好重視同梓謙嘅關係。喺幫助特殊孩子嘅同時，我哋更加需要係陪伴家長去面對，因為一方面家長扮演好重要嘅角色，佢哋嘅積極參與、正面接納小朋友嘅態度，對改善孩子情況帶來事半功倍，另一方面，家長往往係最受壓果個，我哋必須要有專業支援。」   表達能力、情緒控制的改善，令梓謙在最新一次評估只是輕度，更令梓謙媽媽感到欣慰是，他與兒子關係的改善，「兒子常時會走來叫我一齊玩車車，又要我抱抱。」當問到有什麼說話想跟梓謙說，媽媽深呼吸了一口氣，然後說：「梓謙多謝你陪住我，我哋一齊努力，你嘅出現，令我知道媽媽有好多野都要學習，多謝你俾機會我學習做一個好媽媽！」   世上最難擔任的崗位，就是父母，然而，卻只能邊做邊學，梓謙媽媽回顧自己與孩子的改變，很想勉勵同路人：「你開心，孩子就會開心架！所以，盡量自己開心一點，放鬆一點，孩子係會俾你嘅欣賞打動架！」   淚水養大孩兒，在此向每一位媽媽，送上最真摯的祝福及感謝。