Parents Zone
April: 2025
Cultivating children’s character starts with daily life
Parents have a profound impact on their children’s character development. Role-modelling, storytelling, learning through games, and giving encouragement and support will help children build and cultivate good character in their daily lives.
1. Role modelling: Parents are their first teachers
Children are born with the ability to imitate; they often learn by observing and imitating their parents’ behaviour. As parents, you have a significant role in shaping your children's behavior. You can show and teach good behaviour through daily life, be a good model, abide by your promises to your children, and let them understand the importance of integrity. By doing so, you can cultivate good behaviour such as trustworthiness and honesty in your children.
2. Teach Value through sharing stories
Storytelling is not just a one-time activity, but a part of daily life. It is one of the most effective ways to instill values in children. By choosing appropriate stories about kindness, courage, and honesty, parents can create a routine of sharing and reading together. After reading, discussing the stories can further enhance their understanding and help them relate to similar experiences, reinforcing the importance of good character.
3. Through games to cultivate character
Different games can guide and teach good character in a pleasant environment. For example, parents can role-play different roles, such as doctors or teachers, to learn their responsibilities and the value of different roles; they can learn to care and be empathic. Group games can also develop team spirit and cooperation.
4.Encouragement and affirmation to build good character
Active encouragement and affirmation can effectively enhance children’s self-confidence. As a parent, there is no greater joy than discovering your children’s good behaviour in daily life and telling them directly through words and actions. When you observe your children take the initiative to help others, join in activities or help finish small tasks at home, it fills you with a sense of pride and happiness. This not only helps your children know their characteristics but also makes you feel fulfilled as a parent. For example, you can praise them so that they know they have good character: “I am happy to see that you are friendly and willing to help others,” “I am proud of you! you have been working hard and have put in effort to finish the puzzles,” “You did well, you have shown you are a responsible person and finished your task.”
The cultivation of children's good character requires careful guidance from parents. Through role modelling, sharing stories, learning through play, encouragement, and affirmation, parents can effectively cultivate and develop good character and teach good values and life attitudes in daily life.
June: 2025
The art of discipline with both praise and power: balance of love and rules
When disciplining children, there are different challenges; under ‘praise and power’, we will show love and the importance of rules by giving clear boundaries and finding the balance of love, care and following regulations to build parent-child interactive relationships and to develop self-discipline.
Praise: love and care
‘Love’ is the connection between parent and child. The warmth of love and care can build trust and safety, let the children know they can always have family support, and make connections in the family. Parents’ empathy, caring, hugging, holding hands, and spending quality time will establish a safe and attached relationship for children.
Through family interaction, try to listen and understand their feelings and thoughts and encourage them. When children show good behaviours, praise them in words and actions to express recognition of their efforts and help build a sense of self-worth and ability. On the contrary, when they encounter setbacks, parents should be more considerate and try to understand their feelings and thoughts and give them support, for example: ”I understand you are disappointed” and “I know you are angry now,” to express and show them that they are recognised, understood and accepted on their feelings and willing to face the challenges together with them.
Power: Boundary and rules enforcement
Each parent may have different expectations of their children. Setting rules is essential for conveying respect, responsibilities, safety, and awareness; setting clear and consistent family rules allows children to distinguish between good and destructive behaviours.
Family members communicate and follow the boundaries and rules; consistency and enforcement are the most important. Under different circumstances, the rules and core values should be consistent. When the children violate the rules, there will be consequences; it is not for punishment but to develop responsibilities. Therefore, the result of not obeying the rules is reasonable for reinforcement. For example, if a child spilt some milk, they must clean the spill alone, or delaying homework may result in shortened playtime. It is more effective to let children understand there is a natural consequence rather than being punished physically or yelled at.
For enforcement, parents should be using a calm and firm attitude. Emotional blaming can only last a while and set a negative example for children. On the contrary, a calm and firm attitude conveys the seriousness of the rules and sets an example for emotional management. As parents, you are the emotional role models for your children. When a child still refuses to go to bed, you can express to the child that; ”I understand you still want to play, but now it is the bed time, you need to go to sleep.” This way, you express and understand their feelings, while also reinforcing your role as an emotional influencer.
The art of discipline: Praise and Power
Every child is unique and has their own personality and needs. It is important to remember that the discipline method should be adjusted to the child's temperament, age, and specific situation. This personalised approach helps you find the right balance of praise and power for your child. For instance, sensitive and introverted children may benefit from more considerate and supportive discipline, while outgoing and stubborn children may respond better to clear rules and boundaries.
Parents can predict what will happen based on their temperament and needs and prepare for the outcomes. For example, if you know your child will be grumpy when hungry, you can prepare some snacks; if you know your child will be tired easily, then plan a shorter trip or have breaks.
The main goal of discipline is cultivating children's intrinsic motivation and self-management; a balanced approach allows children to transition from external standard rules to intrinsic values, from parental control to self-management. Children will observe, imitate and learn from parents' behaviours. Therefore, parents need to set good examples, role models, and responsibilities; setting ideal behaviour models will help teach them values. In our daily lives, parents can explain to children the reason behind the family rules and encourage them to communicate and express their feelings and thoughts. This open line of communication fosters a sense of understanding and connection. In the art of discipline, we set boundaries in love and care; we have rules and standards but give support to focus on their efforts and strengths, not just on their mistakes.
Our goal of praise and power is not cultivating 'perfectly well-behaved' children but helping them become healthy, emotional, and self-managed individuals. Through praise and power, we provide a warm and consistent environment for children's growth and create better family time.