Parents Zone

1. Role modelling: Parents are their first teachers

Children are born with the ability to imitate; they often learn by observing and imitating their parents’ behaviour. As parents, you have a significant role in shaping your children's behavior. You can show and teach good behaviour through daily life, be a good model, abide by your promises to your children, and let them understand the importance of integrity. By doing so, you can cultivate good behaviour such as trustworthiness and honesty in your children.

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   2. Teach Value through sharing stories

2. Storytelling is not just a one-time activity, but a part of daily life. It is one of the most effective ways to instill values in children. By choosing appropriate stories about kindness, courage, and honesty, parents can create a routine of sharing and reading together. After reading, discussing the stories can further enhance their understanding and help them relate to similar experiences, reinforcing the importance of good character.

3. Through games to cultivate character

Different games can guide and teach good character in a pleasant environment. For example, parents can role-play different roles, such as doctors or teachers, to learn their responsibilities and the value of different roles; they can learn to care and be empathic. Group games can also develop team spirit and cooperation.

4.Encouragement and affirmation to build good character

Active encouragement and affirmation can effectively enhance children’s self-confidence. As a parent, there is no greater joy than discovering your children’s good behaviour in daily life and telling them directly through words and actions. When you observe your children take the initiative to help others, join in activities or help finish small tasks at home, it fills you with a sense of pride and happiness. This not only helps your children know their characteristics but also makes you feel fulfilled as a parent. For example, you can praise them so that they know they have good character: “I am happy to see that you are friendly and willing to help others,” “I am proud of you! you have been working hard and have put in effort to finish the puzzles,” “You did well, you have shown you are a responsible person and finished your task.”

The cultivation of children's good character requires careful guidance from parents. Through role modelling, sharing stories, learning through play, encouragement, and affirmation, parents can effectively cultivate and develop good character and teach good values and life attitudes in daily life.

One common problem is that parents find that toddlers tend to be less willing to share toys with others. In fact, at this time, parents can set an example for their children through their daily behaviours; parents can intentionally share some items with their children and explain the meaning of sharing in simple language. For example, parents can tell their toddlers, “Let’s share this biscuit, okay? I hope to eat something delicious with you.” Let their toddlers experience the joy of sharing in firsthand and understand that sharing this action can connect with language and help them build processing techniques on social issues.

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   Another common situation is that toddlers are likelier to argue when dealing with peers. When toddlers have arguments with other children, parents are sometimes eager to discuss with their children or are already angry. In hindsight, this fails to assist children in independent thinking and serves as a wrong example, allowing children to believe that using intense emotional expression can solve problems mistakenly. When intervening, parents should patiently listen to their children's descriptions, understand the ins and outs of things, and then teach their children how to resolve conflicts in a simple and easy-to-understand way. For example: "I know you are angry but hitting someone is wrong. Next time you can go to the teacher for help." It not only shows the child's understanding of the mood but also gives the child enough knowledge to deal with similar situations in the future, improving their problem-solving skills. In addition to guiding at home, parents can create more learning opportunities, such as participating in community activities with their children, parent-child activities in kindergarten or family gatherings, and allowing children to face different situations in a safe environment. The more such opportunities, the better the toddler's problem-solving skills will develop. It is worth mentioning that establishing a safe and supportive home environment is particularly important for improving early childhood problem-solving skills. When toddlers feel "love" and "security" at home, they are more confident and braver.

Parents can promote this sense of security by communicating with their children and sharing each other’s feelings. For example, every night before going to bed, parents can talk to their toddler about what happened today, understand what their toddler is thinking, and give positive responses and encouragement so that the toddler knows that the difficulty they have encountered is not complicated and that there are parents of support so that they can have the courage and willingness to try when dealing with complex problems in the future.

Each toddler builds problem-solving skills at a different pace, and some toddlers may need more time and support. Parents should remain patient, respect their toddler’s personality and development rhythm, and give them complete love and support. In such an environment, young children will naturally increase their interest in socializing and getting along with others and will be more likely to deal with different good and bad times in the days to come.

Ages 2-3

1. During this stage, a child’s language abilities, fine and gross motor skills, cognition skills, etc. are still in the process of development. Their social behaviours exhibit a more self-centred approach, and tend to revolve around their own desires. For instance, children often argue over toys, as they think that all toys are their personal belongings, and they may prefer playing alone or having adults as their companions.

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   Ages 3-4

   Children gradually become more independent at this age, they are able to communicate using simple sentences. They start learning to share, take turns, and follow rules in simple games. This stage also marks the beginning of spontaneous imitation and engaging in role-playing games.

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   Ages 4-5

   Children get better to follow instructions, enabling them to actively participate in activities with others and provide simple instructions themselves. They also learn how to show care and concern for others. At this stage, their creativity flourishes, allowing them to create simple games such as sandpit play, and engage in competitive games while understanding the concept of winning and losing, in games such as “red light, green light”.

4. Ages 5-6

   Children’s self-awareness reaches at a more mature level, and they are equipped with better observational skills, self-control and they become more independent. They will start comparing themselves to friends or adults unconsciously, and they become aware of gender differences. At the same time, they develop a preference to spend more time interacting with friends, and choose their own friends and playmates, while seeking to form friendships with their peers. At this stage, children are ready to participate in group games and grasp more complex game concepts and instructions.

How to improve a child’s social skills?

Preschool children can learn social skills through observation, imitation, games, and practical experiences in their daily lives.

• Provide learning opportunities, practice in daily life

Parents can create opportunities for children to practice social skills in various settings, such as visiting friends and relatives, at the playgrounds, and during school activities. Practice with your child by facilitating interactions and playing with different people, so that they can accumulate diverse social experiences and learn how to apply the skills they have acquired in their day-to-day life.

• Give affirmation and rewards accordingly

When children display appropriate social behaviours during interactions, such as polite greetings or taking turns in play, following rules and so on, parents should provide immediate verbal praise or non-verbal gestures of approval. In instances where children exhibit inappropriate behaviour, parents should remain calm, encourage appropriate behaviour, and demonstrate the proper ways of interaction. This approach enables children to learn and internalise correct social behaviours more effectively.

Children’s social and emotional development changes and becomes more complex as they grow. But the good news is that parents play a crucial role in fostering a child’s positive social skills. If parents provide a positive environment for children to express their emotions freely, the parents’ acceptance and affirmation will have a positive influence on their child’s social development.

Three Tips for Quality Parent-Child Time:

Tip 1: Brief Moments of Positive Attention

1. Even amidst countless household chores and work commitments, parents should dedicate brief moments of positive attention to their children. For example, when performing light household chores in the living room, encourage their child to play with their toys nearby, or even involve them in the activity. In the process, parents can observe their children, respond to their actions, and offer words of praise. For example, “I see you playing attentively, and solving problems by yourself. Well done!”

Tip 2: Show Empathy for the Child’s Emotional Needs

When children approach their parents, it shows that the child would like to draw their attention or have some other needs. In such moments, try to put aside your own tasks and respond to the child. Express care and affection through physical contact, such as with hugs or by patting their shoulders, and speaking to them in a gentle tone. For instance, respond to their questions by saying, “Mommy's here, is there something I can help you with?” Or by using phrases that express the willingness to listen, such as, “Is that so?” or “Go on, I’m listening”. By offering timely and appropriate responses, being attuned to their child’s emotional changes, and understanding their inner world, parents can help children establish a sense of security.

Tip 3:  Playing Whole-heartedly, Finding Your Inner Child

Parents should embrace the joy of playing games that may seem childish or repetitive with their child. Adjust your mindset to match the child’s level or even let them take the lead during playtime. Children enjoy playing games such as hide-and-seek, treasure hunts, and tickling games. The laughter and physical contact during such moments enable children to feel their parents' love, fostering a stronger bond and a greater sense of closeness.

Besides daily interaction, we encourage parents to plan outdoor activities with their children during holidays. Whether it’s playing ball at the playground, building sandcastles at the beach, or having picnics in the park, these activities are inexpensive but create lasting memories through enjoyable and quality parent-child time.

Tips for Parents

Tip 1: Acknowledge the feelings

1. When a child is upset, parents can start by understanding and responding to the child's feelings at the moment. By understanding that the child is feeling sad, disappointed and angry from their perspective, the child will understand that their feelings are understood and accepted. This helps the child to recognise and express his or her emotional state.

For example, "I know you like this toy car, and would like to take it home..."

Tip 2: Communicate the limit

Responding to a child's emotional state is not the same as accepting inappropriate behaviour. After a child has expressed their emotions, parents need to let their child know that there are still limits to their behaviour and that it should conform to the “three don’ts”: don't hurt others, don't hurt yourself and don't break things. Parents need to explain the rules and limits, not just "say no", but clearly state what you do not accept.

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   For example, "But you can't throw a tantrum to express what you want".

Tip 3: Target acceptable alternatives

Once the limits have been clearly expressed, parents need to advise their children on appropriate ways to resolve the situation. Parents can start by discussing solutions with their child to learn how to properly vent his/her emotions, or give him/her two alternatives if he/she has difficulty coming up with new solutions. When the child is willing to cooperate, parents can encourage good behaviour by giving specific praise to the child.

For example, "You can choose to stay here and look at the toys, or go to the park for a while".

Parent-child relationship strategy: 

Establishing a good parent-child relationship is the first step towards effective parenting. Parents can make good use of the 15-30 minutes before bedtime to talk with their children (Pillow Talks With Kids) to develop a sense of intimacy between them. At first, parents can try to praise their child in a one-way manner, e.g. "I appreciate you taking the initiative to clean up your toys today". Later on, parents can try to lead a two-way conversation with their child by reviewing their feelings and thoughts on the day together.

Tips for Parents

Tip 1: Positive attitude

2. Respect each other's philosophy of parenting, trust and gratitude for each other's selfless support, and create the best possible environment for your child to be supported.

Tip 2: Good communication

1. The best way to parent with the elderly is to communicate openly and understand each other's situation. For example, "Mum, we understand that you love your grandson and want him to be happy, but we think eating too many snacks before dinner will spoil his appetite for dinner! If you want to reward him, you can give it to him before 3pm.

Tip 3: Consistent rules

2.  Establish and implement basic rules together, and review them at family meetings when special circumstances or difficulties arise. For example, the rest schedule for children, the division of labour between parents and grandparents, computer time limits, refreshment arrangements, etc. Occasionally, a smart child takes advantages to be "spoiled", so it is important for adults to remember that you are "on the same page" and respond together with the same rules and tone.

Tip 4︰Make good use of third-party resources

New parents and new grandparents are always developing their own parenting skills without realising it. However, it must have taken a great deal of bonding, communication, effort and improvement to develop these secrets. If there are knots that cannot be untied in terms of getting along, bonding and communication, you may consider seeking outside resources. For example, social workers in kindergartens, child care services, integrated family service centres, etc. can help to improve relationships and reduce the stress of parenting.

Parent-child relationship strategy: Build quality parent-child time

Create a family atmosphere: Take lots of group photos with the young and old and decorate your home.

Tips for Parents

Tip 1: Establish a fixed schedule of rest

By setting a daily schedule with your child, you will help your child understand the daily routine and work schedule, which will help them to follow the agreed rules and learn to manage their time. Parents can also include cute and easy-to-understand picture cards to enhance the playfulness and clarity of the daily routine.

Tip 2: Control the environment

By reducing temptations such as TV, tablets and toys at appropriate times and providing a good learning and eating environment for your child, you can help your child focus on a disciplined lifestyle. Parents should also try to set an example by being the role model for their children during meals. It is also advisable to set a regular place for your child to study and keep it tidy so that your child can develop good study habits.

As a parent, you will have to go through numerous stages of trial and error to establish a good routine for your child, and finally, here are two tips to keep your child motivated in times of fatigue:

Tip 1: Timely Rewards

Reward your child when they improve their behaviour or reach their goals. For example, a sticker, a playtime with mum, a delicious meal or dessert. These rewards help to reinforce good behaviour and facilitate the parent-child relationship.

Tip 2: Appropriate Consequences

If the child does not follow the rules, parents should try to keep calm. Take a firm stance and follow through with appropriate consequences. For example, stopping cartoons for three days, or temporarily suspending their favourite strawberries for two days.

Remember: the above rewards and punishments need to be consistent with all carers, with plenty of encouragement and reminders to achieve results.

Parent-child relationship strategy

Tips for Parents

Tip 1: Respond to their feelings, set clear boundaries and give specific instructions

When children are rambunctious, parents can first understand their feelings and then establish restrictions and give instructions. For example, when children are reluctant to leave the park, parents can say: "I know you really want to play, but it's time for us to go." or "I saw you had a good time in the park, but it's dark now and we are going home for dinner." Parents can also make use of special parent-child rituals or gestures to confirm their commitments, such as giving a "high five", making a pinky promise or pressing the "start" button and so on.

Tip 2: Advanced agreement and early notification

While watching a wonderful movie, being interrupted and not getting what you want is emotionally disruptive. It is even more difficult for children, who are still learning to control their emotions and adapt to changes. Parents can give advanced notification before their children become reckless, so that children can be mentally prepared early. For example, parents can remind their children before entering the park by saying that: "You can play in the park for an hour today, then we will go back home." or "When the timer beeps later, we will have to leave."

Tip 3: Specific instructions

When parents give their children instructions, they need to tell them what to do in detail. Young children cannot fully understand vague instructions, so parents' instructions must be concise, specific and positive. For example, parents can change "clean the room" into "put the toys back into the toy box". Parents can also allow 5-10 seconds for their children to digest the instructions. If parents think that is something which the children should do, avoid asking him questions such as "Is it okay?" or "Can you do that?", to avoid giving them a reason to refuse out of respect.

When giving specific instructions, parents can try to follow these steps:

1. Approach the children, make eye contact with them and call them by their names.
2. Instructions: We have to leave the park (allow 5-10 seconds or you can give instructions twice).
3. Children who follow your instructions can be given immediate praise. For example: "You have done a good job by keeping your promise and leaving the park immediately!" If the children don't follow your instructions, you can tell them the consequences. For example: "As you haven't kept your promise, tonight’s parent-child reading/playing time is canceled” (allow 5-10 seconds for the children to understand).

Wonderful Way to Boost the Parent-Child Relationship

Useful Tips

Tip 1: Be positive

Parents are a mirror of their children. Children always imitate their parents’ words and actions. Stay calm and speak positively. Children will learn to express themselves calmly.

For example, your child keeps calling you when you are away. I know you might be having a headache, but please take a breath and tell your child gently, “Mom misses you too. I’m going to buy ice-cream. Let’s have some ice-cream when I come home.”

Tip 2: Reflect feelings 

Children often have emotions. However, children may not be aware of their own emotions, and they may not know that they are over-expressing them. Parents may help children express themselves with some “mind-reading magic”:

For example, “I see that you are pouting your lips (facial expression/behaviour). It looks like you are unhappy... (feeling/emotion).”

Tip 3: Synchronise emotions 

Children always want to be with their parents and seek to connect with them. Parents can use words and deeds to make their children feel understood. This tacit understanding of “you cry, I cry; you laugh, I laugh” can establish good security support for children and also reduce their separation anxiety.

For example, “Dad knows that you want to go to work with me (the reason why the child is unhappy). Dad doesn’t want to leave you too. I’ll come home to play with you once I’ve finished work!”

Tip 4: Tell your child the limitations  

Let children understand the current restrictions and help them learn to face things that do not work the way they want.

For example, “The market is too crowded. It is too dangerous for children. Mom can’t bring you along!”

Tip 5: Enrich your child’s schedule  

Before you go out, make specific arrangements for your child to have fun to distract him/her from clinging to you. When your child calls to tell you he/she misses you, use the above four strategies to calm him/her, and then shift his/her attention to specific things. Don’t forget to praise him/her for being able to play by themselves to reinforce his/her good behaviour when you return home.

For example, “The handicraft you made this morning is so creative! Mommy appreciates that you can play by yourself! And you even finished it nicely!”

A Magic for Parent-Child Relationship

Useful Tips

Tip 1: Setting Mealtime Boundaries  

Set a target mealtime together with your child and give appropriate prompts halfway through the meal. For example, try to set a reasonable rule of “finishing a meal in 30 minutes”, and then gently remind your child of the remaining time in the final 15 minutes of the mealtime. You can also use a visual reminder such as a clock, hourglass, or timer.”

Tip 2: Take A Consistent and Firm Stance  

Parents must maintain a consistent and firm stance when their child gets distracted during meals. For example, if a child makes a din, as he/she wants to watch TV while eating, we recommended that parents maintain a consistent attitude in guiding the child to follow appropriate mealtime rules.

“We must finish our meal first before turning the TV on. If we don't eat quickly, we will have less time to watch TV.”

Tip 3: Give Positive Encouragement and Praises  

Praising your child’s good behaviour in a timely manner can have a positive influence, and help to reinforce their motivation to eat. When a child makes an effort to try out food items that he/she dislikes and resists, parents can reward them with small tokens such as stickers and stamps on a reward chart to reinforce their good behaviour.

For example, “Daddy appreciates your willingness to try.”

               “Mummy sees that you are making an effort to eat, let me give you a stamp on your reward chart!”

Tip 3: Offer a Fun Variety of Foods  

The use of brightly coloured ingredients to prepare your dishes will attract the child’s attention and make them more motivated to eat. Parents can also create food in different shapes or cartoon characters during holidays, festivities, or in their free time to add an element of surprise for their child. Making meals fun can help to strengthen the child’s positive behaviour and improve the parent-child relationship.

Wonderful Way to Boost the Parent-Child Relationship